Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Greater the Sufferings...

"I prefer the monotony of obscure sacrafice to all ecstasies. To pick up a pin for love can convert a soul" - St. Theresa of the Child Jesus

I started off this past Lent with a promise, a promise to find and embrace my "little way". I found myself drawn to the practice through the inspiration of St. Theresa.

You see, what more can a stay at home Mother have to offer than her "little way"?
I will make no great wave in the ocean. My contributions feel so small in the vastness of this great world. Washing the dishes will not save a soul and Folding the laundry will not cure world hunger.

But just Like St. Theresa, I do not wish for greatness. I do not wish to be seen or heard, I simply wish to do the Job that God has given me and to do it well.
THAT, in and of itself is a challenge.

The quote that I have opened this post with is my reminder.
The smallest action done with the greatest amount of love is my ultimate goal.

Of course, now Lent is over... but I am still trying to focus on my little sacrafices. I am still striving to remember to act out of love. It is no easy thing, working without complaint. Especially when You know that you have washed the same shirt 100 times in the last week, or picked up the same toy 10 times in the same day.
But then, if it were not hard, it would not be a sacrafice. What then would I have to offer my Dear Lord and Saviour?

I have been spending a great amount of time reading and reflecting on the Life of St Theresa.
I find myself envious of her sufferings. Especially after reading her autobiography. There is a great part of me that wonders... does God want me less, because I have not suffered very much?
I am so fortunate in my life.
I have such a great number of blessings.
I have not had it very hard.
I have suffered, so very little.
How then, can I really prove my love for God?

Sometimes I find myself praying for sufferings.
And then, Sometimes, I find myself quickly dismissing the urge to pray for them simply because I am scared. Would I really have what it takes to endure pain and suffering even one- tenth the size that so many of the Great Saints have endured?

I know that we all should be striving for Sainthood,
but I couldn't begin to think myself worthy enough to rise past their feet.

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"A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it
down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by
acting."- Henry David Thoreau.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
-Proverbs 22:6